Essential Steps to Take When a Divorce is Imminent: A JC Law Step-by-Step Guide
Discovering that your spouse has filed for divorce can be a disorienting experience, whether it comes as a complete shock or a long-anticipated eventuality. Regardless of the circumstances, it’s crucial to take immediate and decisive steps to safeguard yourself, your children, and your financial future. This guide, provided by JC Law, outlines the key actions you should take to navigate this challenging period.
First, it’s essential to understand what actions can be used against you in a divorce proceeding. Understanding these pitfalls will allow you to proactively protect your interests throughout the process.
Disclaimer: Many of the following suggestions are geared towards situations where the separation or divorce is likely to be contentious. If you and your spouse are pursuing an amicable divorce, some of these concerns might not apply. In such cases, you might be able to resolve certain issues independently or with the assistance of a divorce mediator.
Actions to Avoid During a Divorce
Before we delve into the proactive steps you should take, let’s first explore the common mistakes that can negatively impact your divorce proceedings.
- Don’t Discuss the Divorce on Social Media: In today’s digital age, it’s tempting to share your experiences on social media. However, when a divorce is looming, it’s best to exercise extreme caution. Anything you post online – even seemingly innocuous comments—can be misinterpreted or used against you by your spouse, especially in a contested divorce. It’s generally advisable to refrain from posting about the divorce altogether. If you need to inform friends and family, do so directly through personal communication. Remember, screenshots are forever, and what you consider a harmless vent could become evidence used to portray you negatively in court.
- Don’t Talk Bad About Your Spouse (Especially Around the Children): Even in uncontested divorces, disagreements and frustrations are inevitable. While you might feel the urge to vent and criticize your spouse, resist the temptation. Negative comments will only exacerbate the situation and escalate conflict. This is particularly important when children are involved. A judge may perceive disparaging remarks about your spouse as harmful to the family dynamic and potentially detrimental to the children. This could negatively affect your chances of securing custody or visitation rights. Focus on communicating respectfully, even when discussing difficult topics.
- Don’t Hook Up with Someone Else: Starting a new relationship can be tempting, especially if you’re feeling lonely or seeking companionship. However, moving in with a new partner before your divorce is finalized can have significant consequences. In some states, it can be considered marital fault (akin to adultery), potentially impacting your eligibility for alimony. Furthermore, introducing a new partner prematurely can deepen the divide between you and your spouse, jeopardizing settlement negotiations and potentially influencing a judge’s decisions regarding property division and child custody. It’s best to avoid romantic entanglements until your divorce is finalized to prevent complications and potential legal repercussions.
- Don’t Get Rid Of, Waste, Hide, or Transfer Marital Assets: The temptation to conceal assets to prevent them from being included in the final property distribution can be strong, but it’s a risky move. During divorce proceedings, you’ll be required to provide a sworn statement detailing all your assets. Failure to provide full disclosure can result in contempt of court charges, potentially leading to jail time. In most jurisdictions, judges have the authority to reallocate marital assets away from spouses who have been dishonest about their finances. This means you could lose significantly more than you were trying to hide. Similarly, avoid extravagant spending sprees or lavish gifts for a new partner. A judge might consider this a misuse of marital assets and order you to reimburse your spouse, potentially with interest, when the divorce is finalized. Transparency is key; be honest and upfront about all your assets and financial activities.
Proactive Steps to Protect Yourself During a Divorce
Now that we’ve covered what to avoid, let’s focus on the positive actions you can take to safeguard your financial and emotional well-being during a divorce.
- Contact a Lawyer Like JC Law: This is arguably the most crucial step. A qualified attorney specializing in family law can provide invaluable guidance and protect your rights throughout the divorce process. They can explain your legal options, help you understand the divorce laws in your jurisdiction, and represent you in negotiations and court proceedings. Consulting with a lawyer early on will help you make informed decisions and avoid costly mistakes. Don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation with JC Law to discuss your specific situation and explore your legal options.
- If You Have Children, Consider Staying in the Family Home (But Weigh the Pros and Cons): Moving out of the family home during divorce proceedings can have unintended consequences on future custody arrangements. A judge might prioritize maintaining stability for the children, and your relocation could be interpreted as disrupting the status quo. If you move out without the children, a judge might be hesitant to alter that living arrangement. However, remaining in the home can also increase tension and create an unhappy environment for the children. Carefully weigh the pros and cons and consider a temporary agreement with your spouse regarding shared occupancy of the family home until custody and divorce issues are resolved. Prioritize the children’s well-being and strive for a solution that minimizes disruption to their lives.
- Don’t Allow Your Spouse to Take the Children and Leave: Your spouse has no more right to remove the children from the family home than you do. Make it clear that while they are free to leave, the children should remain. Again, a temporary agreement regarding shared occupancy can be a useful alternative. If you fear your spouse might attempt to leave with the children without your consent, contact JC Law immediately to discuss your legal options, which may include seeking a court order to prevent them from doing so.
- Learn Everything You Can About the Divorce Process: Divorce laws and procedures vary significantly by state. While each case is unique, most divorces follow a relatively consistent pattern, beginning with the filing of a divorce complaint. Understanding the divorce process will reduce anxiety and allow you to focus your energy on resolving the specific issues in your case and planning for your future. Utilize reliable online resources, such as DivorceNet and Nolo, to educate yourself. However, remember that online resources are not a substitute for legal advice from a qualified attorney.
- Establish a Support System: Sharing the news of your divorce with trusted friends, family, and professionals is essential. Divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, and having a strong support system in place can make a significant difference. Your support system can provide emotional assistance, practical help with childcare during court hearings, and assistance with sorting through divorce and financial paperwork. Consider joining a support group for individuals going through divorce to connect with others who understand what you’re experiencing.
- Try to Settle (But Don’t Settle for Less Than You Deserve): Divorce proceedings can be expensive. Every dollar spent on legal fees is a dollar less available for your children and your future. If you and your spouse struggle to agree on key issues, you might end up in court, necessitating the assistance of an experienced family law attorney. Consider divorce mediation as a means to reach an agreement on at least some issues, potentially reducing the time and expense of litigation. If you can resolve all issues amicably, you may be able to file an uncontested divorce, saving significant time and money. However, never compromise your rights or settle for less than you deserve simply to avoid conflict. Consult with JC Law to understand the value of your assets and your legal entitlements.
- Get Organized: Maintain a well-organized file, either physical or electronic, containing all documents related to your divorce. This includes court filings, financial records, and any other relevant information. Create a calendar specifically for your divorce, recording all deadlines, hearings, meetings, and tasks. A well-organized approach will streamline the process and prevent you from missing important deadlines.
- Run a Credit Report on Yourself: During divorce proceedings, you’ll be required to provide detailed records of your financial accounts, assets, and debts. A credit report will provide a comprehensive overview of your financial standing and may remind you of accounts you’ve forgotten. It can also alert you to any unauthorized activity or fraudulent accounts that may have been opened in your name.
- Copy all Personal Papers and Make Copies of Important Records: Locate and gather all your personal documents, such as your birth certificate, diplomas, and other important records. For jointly-owned documents (bank statements, real estate records, titles, deeds, tax returns, and W-2 statements), make copies for your records. You may need these documents throughout the divorce process, and having copies readily available will save you time and effort.
- Get a P.O. Box or Separate Mailing Address: If you’re concerned about your spouse accessing your mail, particularly if you’ve opened separate bank accounts, consider obtaining a P.O. box. This will ensure that your mail is delivered securely and privately.
- Cancel All Jointly Owned Credit Cards: Canceling joint credit cards is a quick and crucial step to protect yourself from potential financial liability. Your spouse could run up debt on these cards, which you would be responsible for paying even after the divorce is finalized. Inform the credit card companies that you are going through a divorce and request that the cards be canceled.
Divorce is a complex and challenging process. By taking these essential steps, you can protect yourself, your children, and your financial future. Remember to seek legal advice from JC Law to navigate the specific challenges of your situation.
