Sharing custody with an ex is rarely easy, but when you extremely dislike your ex, or the two of you do not get along at all, it can be quite challenging. The key to co-parenting successfully with someone you do not like is to always put the children first.
There are numerous things you can do to make the process a little less stressful and contentious.
Let go of differences
Psychology Today discusses that letting go is key to successful co-parenting. Even if your parenting styles are not the same, there is a good chance you are both good parents, so focus on that instead of your past relationship.
Make a realistic schedule
If you set a schedule that works for both your work schedules and the children’s schedules at the beginning, this minimizes conflicts and the need for excess communication. Write it down so it is clear.
Keep communication to a minimum
Even with a clear, set schedule, it is still important to communicate at times with your ex. However, the conversations do not have to be long. If talking face to face or over the phone is difficult, stick to emails and texts to send important messages.
Keep your kids out of conflicts
Just because you do not like your ex does not mean your children need to know. Keep conflicts out of their ear shots, and do not complain about your ex in front of them. Make it clear that both of you love them very much.
Consider parallel parenting
Healthline discusses that if traditional co-parenting does not work, you can try parallel parenting. This means you have as little contact with your ex as possible. You attend your children’s activities and events separately, pick them up and drop them off in neutral locations and communicate only when necessary.
