When most individuals marry their spouses, they assume their marriages will last forever. Still, divorce is exceedingly common in the U.S. In fact, according to reporting from Time, you have about a 40% chance of having your marriage end in divorce.

If you have decided divorce is the right option, you may be itching to ask your spouse for one. How you request a divorce, though, may set the tone for the next few months. Here are four mistakes you should not make when you ask for a divorce.

1. Not planning what you are going to say

Your spouse may agree with you or he or she may not want to end your marriage. Either way, you should plan what you are going to say before broaching the topic. Explaining to your spouse both why you want a divorce and how you plan to proceed is advisable.

2. Not picking the best place and time

You do not want to break the news of your divorce intentions to your spouse at an inopportune time. Therefore, if possible, try to find a quiet and private place that has few distractions. if you think your spouse may become violent, you may also want to choose a site that is public and safe.

3. Not thinking about what you are going to do while the divorce is pending

Before talking to your spouse about an imminent divorce, you should come up with a plan for while your divorce is pending. Are you going to remain in your home? How will you handle finances? What happens to the kids? Having some answers to these questions and other pressing ones may make your discussion go more smoothly.

4. Not talking to an attorney before you ask for a divorce

Because you want to know your legal options before telling your spouse you want a divorce, it is hard to overstate the importance of speaking to a lawyer. Ultimately, an attorney is likely to have some ideas about how to protect yourself when having your divorce talk.